Canoe Tales (Part 2)

So there I was...canoeing down the North Fork River in southwest Missouri many years ago with a bunch of guys I worked with.  I was in the stern or back of the canoe and my buddy, Terry King, was in the front.  We were navigating some large boulders in the river and got wedged against one near the shore.  Terry started pushing us backward to free the canoe but unbeknownst to him he was pushing me into overhanging bushes on the side of the river.  Things live in such bushes so I calmly said, "Terry".  No response as he continued to push back.  A little louder, "Terry".  Again no response.  Then I came eye to eye with the large snake hanging on one of the limbs no more than 12 inches from me.  "TERRY",  I shouted and dove face first into the stream forgetting that it was only 6 inches deep.  As I'm flopping around like a beached whale my buddy, that term used loosely, is laughing hysterically from his place of safety.
     Then there was the time Kim and I were canoeing Bryant Creek, also in southwest Missouri.  Again, I was in the stern and as the creek narrowed we passed under the low hanging limb of a tree.  Kim, without saying a word, jumps from the canoe into the foot deep water and runs for the shore.  Bewildered at loosing my canoe buddy, that term used loosely, I look up to see the snake inches from my head.  She left me to be eaten.  Fortunately the snake wasn't interested.

Canoe Tales

So there I was...looking through some old files when I came across a booklet put together by Kim of paragraphed memories written about me by friends for my 40th birthday.  One friend, Terry King, had told of our adventures in canoes before we moved to bigger boats.  When I married Kim she came with a dowry, a seventeen foot aluminum canoe.  Terry and I would go fishing on nearby lakes in it using a cement block as an anchor.  Our wives eventually joined us on canoe trips, called float trips in the Ozarks, going down streams and camping overnight on gravel bars at night.  On one of these trips I was having to change outside behind the dome tent because it was too small inside for my 6' 2" frame.  Kim told me to give her the clothes I was changing out of and she would hand me the new clothes.  Then she reneged on the deal and walked away leaving me naked behind the tent.  I could hear other canoers coming down the river and they would be getting an appalling view as they rounded the bend.  Terry and his wife were standing on the other side of the tent enjoying my predicament.  They especially liked it when I picked up the tent and using it as a shield chased Kim all over the gravel bar until she finally dropped my clothes.  
I should have asked for a larger dowry.

Beware The Days After Christmas

So there I was...sitting in my car the day after Christmas in the middle of a snow storm in the middle of the Berkshires trying to figure out my next move.  The day had started with a hike around a reservoir with my longtime friend, John Chapin after he and his wife Jan were nice enough to put me up for the night in their home.  After much talk and enough exercise I headed to a previous place of employment to touch base with past coworkers since I was in the area.  At about 4pm I was off to the Berkshires, a two hour drive and one of my favorite small restaurants, Bob's Country Kitchen.  As I exited this establishment with a full belly and ready to relax I noticed the snowstorm was hitting its stride with winds whipping and visibility dropping.  I would stay the night at my brother's cottage on a lake close by with minimal heating but plenty of blankets and protection from the storm.  That is until I discovered that the key I had used for the last 20 years didn't work as someone had changed the lock.  Ever the adventurer, meaning I'm nuts, I set off into the storm headed for Rochester.  After several adrenalin rushes I arrived to 14" of snow and a snow plowed mound blocking the driveway at 4:30 in the morning.  Scared Kim half to death coming in the house since I was supposed to be in the Berkshires.  Two hours of sleep and I'm up clearing the driveway so Kim can get to work.
Several years ago, two days after Christmas, my buddy Garret calls in the evening asking if he could pick me up in a few hours to help him bring his new 43'  sailboat from New Hampshire to Connecticut.  Ever the adventurer, meaning I'm nuts, I agree and we drive through the night to arrive just before dawn to the boatyard.  We row out to his boat in the freezing water with a small dingy and slip our way into the ice covered boat.  Off we go using the small diesel engine into 10' rolling seas in the Atlantic Ocean.  There is nothing in the outside cockpit and helm station to protect us from the wind and sea water as it breaks over the bow of the boat.  We have rain gear covering layers of down clothing but the cold always wins.  When Garret would take the helm I would go down into the unheated cabin and hang my feet over the running diesel engine to thaw my toes.  It took three days to make it to Connecticut with one day lost because the fog was so thick coming through the Cape Cod Canal that we had to anchor and wait it out.  When I called my boss telling her I couldn't make it to work because I was caught in the fog she thought that was quite original and would work once.  Arriving home, a hot shower never felt so good.  
So after all these years, ever the adventurer, ever the nut.

Time For A Break

So there I was...trying to put together the weekly blog a day after Thanksgiving but having trouble finding the drive to do so.  It might just have been too much turkey.  I was going to tell about a time in Paris, France when a young Asian woman speaking in broken English approached me on the street wearing a green bowler hat, blond wig and Heidi dress.  She asked if I was an American and when I answered in the affirmative she and her five or six other friends all started jumping up and down and screaming.  Seems there was some sort of initiation that she was going through and she couldn't eat until she had her picture taken with an American.  So the group gathered around me and started clicking pictures as my wife looked on with a most bewildered expression.  Off the group ran giggling all the way.  It is bizarre how these things happen to me but lately things have been very quiet.  I don't doubt that they will get crazy again but I think it's time for a Christmas Holiday.  I'll resume the weekly blog in the new year.  See you in January 2013. 

Do Angels Draw?

So there I was...driving along the shores of Lake Ontario coming back from the boatyard where my boat is wintering on dry land.  As always, I was in awe of the vastness and power of that large a body of water.  It helped to put things in perspective as it had not been a good couple of weeks for me.  First my boat had been broken into and alot of my tools had been stolen, many of them passed down to me from my father.  Then with much effort and in the cold Kim and I had set up the frame and covered the boat with a new winter tarp only to have it part at the seams and rip itself off the boat with the strong winds.  My best efforts were being rewarded with less than ideal results.  
There was a time some 35 years ago that life was really beating me up.  Sometimes after work I would drive an hour and a half to get to the Rhode Island shore and sit on a break wall listening to the crashing waves.  Here I tried to figure out what I really wanted in life and why things were not going as planned.  One of those evenings, after sitting there for about an hour, a girl walked out to where I was on the rocks and handed me a sketch she had done of me from where she was sitting on the shore.  After I thanked her she smiled and just walked away.  As I looked at the sketch I notice how small I was in relation to how big the ocean was drawn.  That is when I started putting things in perspective.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  There are greater things in life to think on.  There is a much larger purpose for living than my day to day successes and failures.  There is a God and He has plans for me.
To this day, I find myself wanting to be around large bodies of water.  It keeps me grounded.  It keeps me from thinking too much of myself.  It helps me to see things as they really are.

Rocky and Bullwinkle

So there I was...having my morning coffee when I heard the squirrels running on the roof of the house again.  It was common as we have this huge pine tree close enough to the roof to make it easy for them.  I noticed the sound being louder than usual and with a little investigation found the critters to have taken up residence in an upper section of the attic accessible only from a damaged roof vent.  Before I could fix the vent I had to get these guys out but they had no intention of leaving despite my many efforts.  Then I bought the "Squirrelinator" (cue dramatic music).  After mounting this devise to the roof I captured the varmints within a day.  I secured the roof vent so I don't have to pull out the "Squirrelinator" (cue dramatic music) again.  This brings me to my other animal story from several years ago.
So there we were...winter camping on Mt Moosalamoo in Vermont.  My close friends, John and Rich, had been doing this annual excursion together for some 30 years straight and through the years others would join them, this being one of the years I did.  We "Robust Trampers", as the guys aptly named us, would backpack on snowshoes through the 4 ft deep snow a fair distance into the woods to set up a base camp and day hike out from there.  It was usually 3 days in zero degree weather sleeping in tents and cooking your meals on small camp stoves laid on a table you cut out of the tamped down snow.  We came back from a day hike on Moosalamoo to our camp and within a few minutes John quietly turns my head to show me a huge moose that is standing no more than 30 yds from us.  After she effortlessly trots off through the 4 ft snow we go to where she was standing to check her tracks.  My two hands end to end equaled the size of her hoof.  Then we saw her calf, some 6 feet tall, run off in a different direction from the mother.  I put on my snowshoes and told the guys that I had to track it.  After all, moosalamoo is the Abenaki Indian word meaning "trails of the moose".  As I followed its trail I saw where it crossed a snow covered frozen pond where it obviously slipped and took a digger as the snow was cleared from the ice where its body slid.  A memory of the scene from the animated movie where Bambi slides spread eagle across the ice came to mind.  Its tracks leading away from the site indicated that it was walking normal and no harm was done except maybe to its pride.  It was turning dark fast and the thought of the mother moose finding me tracking her young might end badly for yours truly so I headed back to camp.  These huge animals just thrilled me and made my weekend.  Can't say the same for the squirrels.

Upside Down At 3,500 Ft

So there I was...watching the news yesterday as they showed Laguardia Airport in New York covered in water with just the runways showing.  Hurricane Sandy had pummeled the area that I had boated through only a month ago.  Looking at that flooded airport reminded me of a day about 28 years ago when heavy rains in Kansas City, Missouri had left a small outlying airport surrounded by water, but the runways themselves were still usable.  The reason that was important to me that blustery morning was I was about to go up and jump out of a perfectly good airplane at 3,500 ft. hoping to land on dry ground.  Kim and I had not been married long so I wrote a quick will on a scrap piece of paper and had it signed and witnessed by a friend of mine there just in case gravity won and I lost.  I had training the night before and the morning of the jump as I would be jumping by myself and not attached to an instructor.  It is called a static line jump where a tether is attached on one end to the plane and the other end to your parachute so as you jump from the plane the 15+ ft line goes taut and pulls the parachute from your pack.  After a short freefall the air fills your chute and landing on dry ground is all you have to worry about.  As I stepped out onto the strut of the planes wing to prepare my spread eagle exit into open air, I became fascinated with the power of the propellers thrust.  Looking at it as I jumped caused me to fall in a twisting motion and as my chute deployed the lines wrapped around my legs.  I found myself hanging upside down at 3,500 ft with a partially opened parachute and falling fast.  Kim can see the deformed chute from the ground and knows things are not going well for me up there.  All I could think to say was, "Oh crap" and realized I better move fast.  Doing a mid-air situp I started unraveling the lines from my legs until finally I fell upright and the chute filled fully.  After a pleasant flight I made a good landing only 5 ft from the bullseye (a bath towel on the ground), and more importantly, not in the water.  Kim was breathing again but if I remember right she hit me...hard!